Reasons I think my dp wants to stay around:

Fear of Aaron
Fear of the past repeating itself
Pain from the abuse I went through and the losses that I've suffered in life
Possibly my phobias that are difficult to face in reality but they are going to happen regardless of if I have dp or not


Reasons to no longer hold on to dp anymore:

I have everything I've always wanted: Gorgeous, loving husband, baby on the way, own my own home
I'm not afraid of Aaron anymore, atleast like 90% better. There's no reason to fear him because he cannot get access to me anymore. He can't scream at me or abuse me. I call the shots. It's all on my terms now and if he dares to come near my I will beat the living shit out of him.
Anthony is committed to being with me for the rest of his life and will never leave me. I am safe with him. I can trust him. He protects and spoils me. He provides for the kids and I.
I don't want to experience this pregnancy, the birth of the baby, my marriage, or anymore of my life dissociated.
I want to recover. It's time for it to leave. I want a normal life again.


I'm afraid because the process of my reality changing is and will be scary but the thought of living with dp and missing out on any more of my life is even scarier.

The little girl inside of my went through some really tough and terrible things but she is safe now and no one is going to hurt her anymore. I won't allow it and neither will my husband. It's ok for her to stop hiding and to come out, be held, be protected, be loved. Everything is safe and ok now. It's time to recover.